Content Warning / Educational Disclaimer: This article post contains sensitive topics and reflects Open College UK Limited’s opinions for informational purposes only.

NLP is the way in which we work with children to achieve a desired outcome, with this in mind, we are able to model our own behaviours, thoughts, actions and feelings, through positive role modelling. By being aware of ourselves we are able to become aware of how another person may be feeling, and therefore model ourselves in a manner, which reflects the behaviours, and actions which we wish to see within the individual. Before this may occur, it is imperative that we build a rapport with the child, so that we are able to establish a connection which feels safe, for the child to respond to what we are trying to teach them.

This can be achieved via the types of questions which we ask the child allowing the time to review what is being offered and make decisions and choices which may be deemed beneficial to the child. This can be especially effective when we complete actions such as joining in with the child during their activities, or if needs be, getting down to the child’s level so that they do not feel intimidated by what we are requesting of them.

It is also important to recognise that reflection form a key factor within NLP, by reflecting on both what you as an individual complete, whilst observing the child, and making changes accordingly, this allows the child an opportunity to feel seen, valued and heard, and therefore more willing to make the changes, or find the solutions which you are trying to provide. To me this means that by mirroring the child, I am able to build a lasting connection in which we are able to work through any issues which may occur, knowing that we have both established a connection which allows the child to demonstrate an openness and willingness to find their own solutions through effective decision making.

The changes that can be made are giving the child enough time to respond, as this will allow them the time to process their own decisions and choices without too much influence on my behalf. This can be achieved through the processes of active listening, and observations, as this allows me the time to best decide how to approach the situation using the best methods to help the child make better decisions, taking into account their thoughts, feelings and behaviours, and anything that may be impacting their decision making such as outside factors which are beyond their control.

Role modelling techniques can also be developed to ensure that my actions, and behaviours are in alignment with that which I wish to observe from the child. Children look to adults for support and safety, and therefore when we are demonstrating behaviour which is positive in the manner in which we speak to young people. This can be extended to the type of language which is used with the child, how we communicate with them is also the way they are able to communicate with us, therefore by being respectful to what it is they are trying to communicate allows them to react in the same manner, building a trustful and respectful relationship.

The way we think as adults is also imperative when working with the child, therefore reflection and reframing of our thinking can be applied when working with the child. I also need to ensure that my beliefs and prejudices do not affect my ability to view the child as a individual, who may have their own beliefs and prejudices based on the environment which they live in. Moreover, If we are able to reflect on our own behaviour, and make changes based on these reflections. This allows for both the practitioner and the children to reframe their thinking methods, and set positive intentions for new ways of thinking.

The language which is used, and also the tone of voice which the message is conveyed in, is an area in which I believe some changes could be made. We are not always aware how language which is used may be a trigger for some people, this can be extended to the tone of voice that we use when delivering a message, in some cases our tone of voice can be triggering to the child, especially if the message which is being delivered is challenging. By reflecting on how we are able to adjust the language and our tone of voice when working with the child it could help to build a trusting relationship, therefore allowing the child to be more open in what they feel able to share.

Expectations need to be realistic in relation to both the child and myself, it is unfair to place expectations on a child which they may not be able to achieve, and therefore any action or set of behaviours should be set in reason with what they child can achieve, and also what they may be working towards achieving. This is the same for me as an individual, in terms of the expectations which I would like to achieve for myself especially when developing the NLP model into my daily teaching practice whilst working with young people, this can be achieved by reflecting what I have achieved, and what I have achieved and not being disapproving of self when I have set expectations which I may have achieved.

I feel that my view on my personal beliefs will also be an area which I will develop and work on improving as a NLP practitioner, this is something that I had never really thought about before starting the course, however upon reflection I have come to understand that in some cases before now, i may have used my own “limited” beliefs, and make assumptions based on my beliefs. Working with the child to understand and respect their beliefs will help both myself and the child to develop a better understanding of how to work together. My hope is this will help the child to feel safe to share their own beliefs and for me to gain a better awareness of their beliefs.

Author: N Gayle

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